those days

Beautiful song right? Im so addicted to it now, its so nostalgic. I have the urge to go to the beach when i listen to it. And hi. So much to think about. So much fears. So much troubles. I wish i could still pour out everything as and when i like into that bottle. But not possible anymore

A thousand fears

      Still loving this song as much. So today I watched breaking dawn part 2 like finally. And I missed this song. So sweet.

So yesterday I tried going shopping. Since I hardly do so, I thought maybe I could cheer myself up a little. Unfortunately no. I broke down on my way home as I walked along the NS campsite to my block. It just felt like everything was crashing down...... I don't know why I'm forever crying over every accumulated things. It all links up. At that point of time, how I wish my mom was at home, waiting for me. Ask me what's wrong, and i'd cry out everything as I fall into her arms. But no... Though I have many friends around me, this loneliness is not something people would understand. It just sucks, when you don't have a complete family, and you're not even comfortable or close to share every problem you have with them. People with a nice and complete family are just so damn fucking lucky. Treasure what you have okay people, treasure.

I wonder why lately, I love to bottle up. Then it reminds me of the past when I had that one person who opened me up, and i'll feel all sad again. I wonder when my true smile really disappeared, when I started forcing myself to smile and smile and smile. Its tiring. I really feel as if im letting everyone else who cares, down. Im sorry :(((((

Well I guess my life seriously changed ever since my parents divorced and more complications kicked in. I really don't know how I managed to survive through everything. If it weren't for my friends, I suppose I might have committed suicide hahahahahahahaha. Speaking of this, I went out to northpoint to get my contact lens saline just now. Near the zebra crossing I had this random thought

 "What if im so unlucky and I get into a car accident here after a whole day of staying home"?
"I wonder if that happens, who would be crying for me."

With that I was just waiting for the green man to flash... But no idea why, after a few seconds like half a minute or approx. a minute, I thought I saw green light and thus I stepped out a few steps onto the road. But actually I think it was the green light for the cars going to <<<<<<< direction. Because thankfully one of the drivers from afar honked to call out to me, that's when I saw it was still the red man and the cars from my right were slowly starting their engines to continue their journey. CREEPY MAX. I don't know what went wrong, I gotta be out of my mind, hahahahaha. Almost sent myself to death oh god. That feeling was so damn scary. Sigh.

Okay bye I doubt anyone's reading anyway.


To be honest, I don't think i'm strong. Yes I survived many storms, but no i'm just a weakling.

time flies

 

Another one of my favourite OSTs, from 1 Litre of Tears. Time flies, holidays are ending soon in about 1 week plus. Busy week ahead. And yeah I didn't even study at all.... Been playing too much. Need to start soon, sigh. Poly life sure flashes quickly. I wonder if I'll ever catch up some day.

 

There's too much regrets, so many things I wish I could have. But no, sad to say that things wont change, ever. 5 years, 6 years. I feel like I've not accepted this cruel fact.

 

Will things get better? I feel like I don't look forward to anything anymore.

too much to handle

Wheeeooooo different groups of friends in poly and they are definitely one of the best. Really thankful to have all these lovelies around for companion, since I was feeling pretty low. I'll always feel better when my friends are around in such situations, just the laughters of theirs make me feel comfortable although i'll always prefer to be left alone at times when im in such bad moods. Ah. Love y'all!

 

Okay so I'm really tired. Not to mention that I still have too much things to think about. Sigh. Really no mood to blog. I find this world scary, too scary. But I wish I could just smile and keep away all those stress. And you know what? I'm scared. I feel like my words may very well not be taken in. I'm afraid to find out what was said. Which... Might not even be the truth. Oh well. I really don't know what I want, nor what I should do. Life sucks huh. How can life be so stressful? Been so long since I had the thoughts of migrating in the future. I seriously prefer rural areas, dont you feel more relaxed when you are surrounded with beautiful sceneries and the silence of the nature? Anyway.. I realised recently and especially after last night; Things are always being unfair to all the nice people out there, oh why? How weird.

 

 

Im sorry, i'm not perfect. Like I said, i'm never good enough.

My world is filled with too many fears.

Nostalgic

 

Going to sleep after I post this. Sigh, so tired. Physically and mentally. I don't know what to do anymore, what I should do, and what I want. My moodswings are bad nowadays all because of that one shit. And well, rewatched "1 Litre of Tears" recently. Really love this drama. So much to learn from it. Yes, been 2 years and I still love their OSTs. The song up there is one of my favourites, seriously nostalgic. It just brings back so much past, it just makes you think a lot. Sigh. I still remember I used to listen to this song very often back in sec 2. And now it just reminds me of the times when I will play basketball on my own. Hmm, of course the scenes from the drama becomes fresh in my mind all the time too. Oh well. Japanese songs are still the best compared to Korean songs, really.

 

Meh, chalet at 2/3pm with Artemis later, shall sleep now. Goodnight. 

 

School stress, money stress, work stress. Oooooooh.

Buy or not?!

Hi. Got a little mood to blog today. SEE THAT DRESS? OHMYOHMYOHMY.
I've been eyeing on it since I first saw it a few months back, but no, all of the outlets I dropped by whenever I'm nearby do not have my size. But today I finally found the outlet with my size. I'm wondering if I should actually get it when I have the money because I think I look weird in it. :(((( HOWHOWHOW. THE DRESS IS TOO PRETTY TO LET GO AWW. Furthermore its a hi-low dress... So pretty.

Kbyeimtired. Oh ya, I fell down today. Broke record liao. I have no idea how long it has been since I fell down woohoo. HAHAHAHA. Goodnight x.


Can I have all the hi-low dresses in this world please?!

2013 is nowhere better

Hi. No mood now. Bye.

2013 sucks seriously.

Another day gone

Im finally done with creating a new blog whoooooooooo. Thought i'd forget how to edit but oh well. I'm not  really satisfied though cus I kept having problems. Been so long since I've edited html codes, guess its been about 2 years plus since I've blogged. Shall change it again next month or something.

Sooooooooooooo the holidays are here, June is here, time flies. Spent my weekend at Alfred's house anyway. And yes i'm back to work. I'm dead tired today. Therefore it's time for my bed time, I stayed up late to complete my editing because I hate doing things halfway.

Goodnight world.